I lied

I lied.
I'm in pain.
I feel every mistake I made with an itch of what if...
But at the same time I want to curse you because it wasn't all my fault.
But all my pain comes from the good times.
The memories.
The trips.
The kisses.
The times we fell asleep together.
The dancing.
It's pain.
All of that I want it to be over.
To pull the arrow head, painful as it is and bleed from my heart once again.
For the cold of absence and the dread of my nightmares is worst without you.
Just.
Make the pain go away.